Hysterical, but gross Diarrhea song

I’m sure that you all have heard the infamous Diarrhea song whether you went to camp or not.  I thought I’d share a few of the lyrics I’ve created over the last few days after a bout of diarrhea.  Please note that I can not confirm or deny that any of these happened this past week or any part of my history.   Please also note that antibiotics can be your friends for somethings, but it is definitely not your butt’s friend.

Just in case you don’t know the tune of the Diarrhea song – a youtube clip to help you from Steve Martin’s movie Parenthood.

When a fart slips out the end and it has a juicy friend — Diarrhea Diarrhea — Diarrhea Diarrhea —

When you’re stomachs in a ball and your loose stool hits the wall —Diarrhea Diarrhea —Diarrhea Diarrhea —

When you try to cut a fart and you feel a soggy part —Diarrhea Diarrhea —Diarrhea Diarrhea —

When you’re sitting in a chair; all the sudden brown is there —Diarrhea Diarrhea —Diarrhea Diarrhea —

When you’re on antibiotics and your undies feel aquatic — Diarrhea Diarrhea —Diarrhea Diarrhea —

When you break a little wind and poo comes  out your rear end —Diarrhea Diarrhea —Diarrhea Diarrhea —

If you have to squeeze your anus and it makes a splash like Greg Louganis — Diarrhea Diarrhea —Diarrhea Diarrhea —

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Glad Press N Seal

When I had my first picc line, Glad Press N Seal was fairly new and I never could find any to buy.  So I made do with the Dry Pro and Saran Wrap.  I bought some yesterday and used it for the first time today.  In commemoration of this event, I crated a new song to the tune of Carol of the Bells.

GLAD Press N Seal GLAD Press N Seal

GLAD Press N Seal GLAD Press N Seal

I need to bathe I need to bathe

I need to bathe I need to bathe

 

Odors they form around me and I know that I am smelly

But you must keep the PICC line safe

But you must keep the PICC line safe

 

GLAD Press N Seal GLAD Press N Seal

GLAD Press N Seal GLAD Press N Seal

I have to bathe I have to bathe

I have to bathe I have to bathe

 

Fainting from fumigation that oozes from my stinky body.

But you must keep the PICC line safe

But you must keep the PICC line safe

 

Oh how the scent

lurking around

Glad Press N Seal

was now just found

 

GLAD Press N Seal GLAD Press N Seal

GLAD Press N Seal GLAD Press N Seal

I get to bathe I get to bathe

I get to bathe I get to bathe

 

Oh how I’m glad I

discovered the miracle of

Glad Press N Seal.

 

And I kept my PICC line safe

And I kept my PICC line safe